light

oh, yes, that's right. that was the really good reason not to fall again. because the light it casts throws everything into sharp relief, and suddenly you can see all the gaps and holes. and aching voids. are they always there? just patched over with little cobwebs of denial? glossed and daubed with a carefully balanced apathy that seems real enough to dance on most of the time. because underneath is far too real.
i wonder...if you could live in the deep of the underneath all the time. and not got mad? probably not. it would be too intoxicating. or maybe there isn't a division, really. 'praps it’s all the same, just different angles. different light. falling at different times of the day...or night. ha, that reminds me of
O chestnut-tree, great-rooted blossomer,
Are you the leaf, the blossom or the bole?
O body swayed to music, O brightening glance,
How can we know the dancer from the dance?