Monday, June 04, 2007

pavane pour une infante defunte

sad, tragic even, things keep happening to people that i love. cancer. death of a husband. car crash. death of a parent. miscarriage. death of a child.
s
uch important parts of their existence. of their identity. we structure our lives around the tender tendon connections and then when they’re torn they leave an aching, open, hanging void.
and...i can’t help, or even begin to salve. it feels so helpless! part of me wants to be the good-in-a-crisis type (like frideswide) and run around making casseroles and phoning people. sending flowers and making lists. the other part...thinks responding in any other way rather than in person, with hugs, just seems cheap.

think. what did you want people to say to you? what did they say, that helped?
...nothing helped. i just wanted someone to hold me and rock me while i cried and cried until i until i couldn’t cry anymore.

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