why do i do that thing
where i push people away
and close the door
just as they start to get close?
why do i act busy?
close off my heart
stop reaching out
and hide behind a smile
why do i shut them out
just when they're starting to reach in?
nod and look away
too icecool to fall
as if i have other things on my mind
cause all that's on my mind
is a stupid energy sapping fog
that drinks faith
swallows up trust
breeds doubt
and is made of nothing
about me:
- spiderkitten
- i love little things. the smell of new printed paper/grapefruit skin/crushed fennel/struck matches. the feel of: drawing on skin/tearing old stockings/creeping sunlight/anything that dissolves on my tongue. the sound of: an orchestra tuning/a cork pulling from a bottle/old modems/typewriters. the movement of: milk clouds in coffee/the coastline from a plane/a dream-twitching cat. the bounce when: someone understands what you mean/you wake up while still dreaming. the sight of: people sleeping/birds landing/the aurora. i have broken musician's fingernails. i doodle on things. i adore fireworks. still. and shooting stars. i make paper cranes out of leftover paper. i try not to hate how i look. i wear boots. i pick up fallen leaves. i have freckles. i love the cold, let it snow. i talk too fast. i like to touch everything. i am achingly proud of my family. i write. i am interested in your mask as well as your heart. i listen to stories. i am in awe of my friends. i love riding trains. i sleep badly. i love to read things that make me laugh out loud, magic from silent ink and paper :) i use smilies too much...
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