dying in denial

fuck. he's dying. just a few months to live.
what the hell would i do with just a few months to live?
anyway that's not really the point. the point is fuck, he's dying. and coping with it by trying every available cure on the market....absolutely everything from chemotherapy to chinese medicine to illegal drugs. but it's so advanced that it's probably not going to do anything, at best it will extend his life for another month or two...while his wife and kids watch him focus on the disease on not the last remaining time they have with him. it's all come so suddenly and there's nothing i or anyone can do to make him snap out of it, this is *just* like an addiction, it's just a complicated form of denial, run away from the real issue - you are going to die - and focus on a thousand other things in the day to day, the next cure, the latest idea, it's just the same as the next fix. prolonging hope with false idols for another day. fuck. take a holiday. see your family. remember what love feels like. remember what living feels like. not just cause you're going to wish you had, but because you're killing everyone around you as well.