everything

Alanis is stuck in my head today:

I can be a nightmare of the grandest kind
I can withhold like it’s going out of style
I have the bravest heart that you’ve ever seen
And you’ve never met anyone who's as positive as I am, sometimes

You see everything, you see every part
You see all my light and you love my dark
You dig everything of which I'm ashamed
There's not anything to which you can’t relate
And you’re still here

I blame everyone else, not my own partaking
My passive-aggressiveness can be devastating
I'm the most gorgeous woman that you’ve ever known
And you’ve never met anyone who's as everything as I am, sometimes

What I resist, persists, and speaks louder than I know
What I resist, you love, no matter how low or high I go

You see everything, you see every part
You see all my light and you love my dark
You dig everything of which I'm ashamed
There's not anything to which you can’t relate
And you’re still here

And you're still here...

yes, let's

let's go for a drink
let's run away together
let's do coffee
let's have lunch
let's fuck on the kitchen table
let's fly a kite
let's go people watching
let's watch old movies
let's kiss on the couch
let's run in the rain
let's dress up
let's ignore the phone
let's laugh until our stomachs ache
let's shoot zombies
let's climb a mountain
let's have sex with no guiltstrings
let's snooze in the sun
let's make dinner together
let's listen to symphonies
let's go out on the town
let's dance til dawn
let's tickle the cat
let's go for a long walk
let's collect tiny shells
let's make ice cubes
let's write to each other
let's stay in bed all day
let's make coffee
let's argue about books
let's sing badly
let's get kinky
let's play hide and seek
let's drive for hours
let's let the tears come
let's light the fire
let's housekeep in the nude
let's stay up late
let's draw on the walls
let's sit quietly together
let's order in
let's have a pillowfight
let's watch the sunrise
let's fall asleep next to each other

yes. let's.

scrawl

we all sound so much more confident in type
screening over emotion
on the page
papering over past hurts
with pretty verbs and colloquial kitsch...
wallpaper words

Them that asks no questions isn't told a lie
Watch the wall, my darling, while the Gentlemen go by!

ars domestica

oh - maybe i understand.
maybe you've got one marriage so you don't want all the boring bits. again. just the bits which thrill.
maybe i'm the same.
addicted to intensity.
terrified of mediocrity and the mundane.

Where the heart is?

i just want to go home.
but i don't really know where home is anymore.