Tuesday, May 29, 2007
light
i wonder...if you could live in the deep of the underneath all the time. and not got mad? probably not. it would be too intoxicating. or maybe there isn't a division, really. 'praps it’s all the same, just different angles. different light. falling at different times of the day...or night. ha, that reminds me of
O chestnut-tree, great-rooted blossomer,
Are you the leaf, the blossom or the bole?
O body swayed to music, O brightening glance,
How can we know the dancer from the dance?
awake
when i stay up (like this)
(for days)
or, at least, a night and a day and a night and a day
i wonder whether you even realise that i'm not sleeping next to you.
Friday, May 25, 2007
prank call.
gutless wonder
why not
have the guts to say
i know what it is you want, but i can't give it to you.
or
there is something i need to say, but i can't find it.
or even
i can see where it is you ache, but i can't even deal with my own pain, let alone someone else's.
and
why not
have the guts to not be afraid of people loving you. especially loving you in different ways.there are lots, you know. they don't all require you to give away part of your soul.
or not.
stay up there and away, it's easier anyway.
so, are you ever going to actually engage? yeah, me neither. it's way easier just to float along the surface of the plebs below and graze when you need to. they'll never know, right?
isn't it such a damn drag when everyone else is so inferior?
stay disengaged, bubble, disconnected. hangup.
hangups! oh, yes. yes, people are so transparent, aren't they? you can put your fingers right through in some places.
argument
i shouldn’t set you up to fail
i shouldn’t create tests in my mind
thinking you should say ‘this’ when i say ‘that’
and crumbling when i don’t get what i ask for
i shouldn't hope that one day you will just love me, and say just the right thing
should i?
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
my bright companion
Many another vesture hath the soul, I pray
Call me not forth from this. If from the light I part
Only with clay I cling unto the clay.
And ah! my bright companion, you and I must go
Our ways, unfolding lonely glories, not out own,
Nor from each other gathered, but an inward glow
Breathed by the Lone One on the seeker lone.
If for the heart’s own sake we break the heart, we may
When the last ruby drop dissolves in diamond light
Meet in a deeper vesture in another day.
Until that dawn, dear heart, good-night, good-night.
Monday, May 21, 2007
fly away home
sometimes i think it would be nice to have people when they are flying high and at their peak.
so often i come to people when they in the dark, or in a rut, or have lost their way somehow. and we work through where they’re at, or try to, and i am happy to delve if it helps, it makes me explore myself too. all of which is good. but sometimes i wonder if it would be nice to *also* have the happy flying yay and smiling times…. rather than just sending healed hawks out to zoom around with the others and watching like some stupid big-sister figure from the window. why can’t i go out and play too? well? what stops you?
i'm sure i don’t go looking with that goal in my head…to heal and hand over. i think. nor do i go looking for the lost and the lonely. well, i don’t think i do. i used to wonder if i somehow searched out the saddened because i needed to see problems that i could fix, hearts that could be heartened. well, i can’t fix them. like my own fixings, all that has to come from inside. i suppose i can lend my mining gear :)
but still. i wonder what it is that i project that says, over here! and then, game over, insert coin. if i could find it, and pinch it off at the source, i'd probably make people a whole lot less uncomfortable.
Friday, May 18, 2007
...that thinking makes it so
what do you expect when you talk to someone?
enter a deal? a conversation? a contract?
share a joke?
how do your expectations alter what you get out of the interaction?
how do they shape how you feel about it afterwards? during?
if you reach out, do you expect to be responded to?
will you reach out anyway, if you get no response?
for how long?
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
live, love, laugh
I like this project. Simple things. >> learning to love you more
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
i will find the strength somewhere.
Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, People may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you've got anyway.
Monday, May 07, 2007
betrayed
by the way that you say your name
i really need to shake off this thing, this feeling of betrayal. it's just...energy sucking.
not paving
i'm wondering whether i reached out and opened up and made that happen. or if it was just...serendipity. or something.
and...i'm not all that sure how to move. how do you move forward, after moving on, while looking back?
maybe you just don't look back at all. just forge ahead and see what's there in the here and the now.
tightrope walk
how do you balance, again?